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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932539">Sumeragi Issei's Heart-Pounding Heroine Training Camp</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/appletime/pseuds/appletime'>appletime</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A3! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Based on Flavor Text, Gen, Light-Hearted</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:28:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,273</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/appletime/pseuds/appletime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>For the Sumeragi family, this was worse than dying.</p>
  <p> Dad was in a slump.</p>
</blockquote>Famous actor Sumeragi Issei is stuck on the characterization of his newest role. He turns to the readiest available help he has- his son and his son's friends.
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sumeragi Issei's Heart-Pounding Heroine Training Camp</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>more specifically, this is based on tenmas home screen line about his dad being in a show where he switches bodies with a high school girl</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tenma blinked at his phone. It was ringing. ‘Dad’ was written in large white letters across the screen. <em> Isn’t he supposed to be shooting for a serial right now?  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dad? Is everything okay?” Tenma was worried- Dad usually never broke focus from his work when he was in the midst of it- was he dying? Were these his last words?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tenma,” his dad spoke, “I...need your help. You and the other kids you do theater with. What are you doing next week?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For the Sumeragi family, this was <em>worse </em>than dying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> Dad was in a <em>slump.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re free...I think.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>“I'm home!” shouted Tenma, tossing his shoes off in the entryway. He couldn't help but wonder if this was a good idea, seeing poor Muku’s deer-in-headlights expression. If he was just this nervous meeting at Tenma’s house…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Holy shit, Tenten, this place is…” Kazunari started, trailing off as he peeked out into the living room. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Misumi hummed. “It's not very triangular. Also, the rich people black and white minimalist is kind of bland- if I had to choose, I'd much prefer a more maximalist design.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You live in triangle hell,” Yuki snarked, keeping a firm grip on Muku’s hand. Muku seemed to need the support- it was always...blatantly obvious when he was nervous. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's heaven to me,” Misumi responded simply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Muku! You gotta get it together!” Kumon shouted. “It's okay! Even if you break something it'll probably turn out like that host club manga you like!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Muku froze. “I...I can't remember if Haruhi ever did pay off her debt…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Google it now before Tenten’s dad shows up,” Kazunari stage whispered. “It'll keep you up if you don't.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Muku nodded, and pulled out his phone. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Welcome to the Sumeragi manor,” Kiyoko-san, one of the maids, bowed. “Please make yourselves at home. Would you like anything to drink?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Water, please!” Kazunari was the first to speak up. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“An iced tea, thanks,” Said Tenma, flopping onto his couch. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Water for the rest of us, I think,” Yuki dragged Muku to the seating area. Kiyoko-san made her exit. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi, Tenma's Dad!” Misumi called, waving. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good afternoon,” Said Sumeragi Issei, also known as Tenma’s Dad. “Sorry to call all you kids out on such short notice.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's totes fine! The director thought it'd be a great experience!” Kazunari waved his hand as he spoke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah!” Kumon tacked on. “Don't even worry about it!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tenma's Dad, I have a question.” Yuki said, speaking carefully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shoot.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“...Why <em> us </em>? I mean, I'm sure you have other much more experienced...Never mind that last part.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Issei leaned back in the plush armchair he was sitting in, the leather squeaking and straining- it was clear the Sumeragi’s den wasn't used much. “Has Tenma told you anything about the series I'm working on, yet?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Summer troupe was a chorus of shaken heads and ‘no’s.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s an adaptation of a manga- a comedy about a salaryman and a high school girl that switch bodies. The title is something like…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em> The Time A High-School Aged Girl Switched Bodies With Her Father’s Department Head!?” </em>Muku gasped, hands flying to his face. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's the one. You know it?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I-it was <em> Ciao </em> ’s top comedy series last winter! Oh gosh, I didn't even know an adaptation was in the works…” Muku stared at his hands, eyes wide. “I've been entrusted with a great secret...am I even <em> worthy </em>of this kind of insider info? I'm just a cold soggy french fry that was left forgotten inside of the bag-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mukkun!” Kazunari interrupted. “Let's hear what Tenten’s Papa needs our help with! You might be the most important person in the room here, especially if you already know the manga!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Muku took a deep breath and nodded.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's a bit embarrassing for a grown man to admit,” Issei sighed. “But I'm having trouble getting into character as the main character, Makoto<em> .”  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Muku bit his thumbnail. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Misumi poked him, “What are you thinking about?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's just...even though <em> Shojisan </em>- that's the shorthand for the title- is a break-out hit, the quality comes from the mangaka’s comedy writing and dynamic-yet-still-appealing art style. Makoto herself is a satire of the generic high-school girl archetype.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Issei sighed. “See, you've got a mind similar to the director of the series- It's easy enough on paper, play up acting like a teenage girl just enough to be funny...but it just comes out flat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So...Tenten’s Papa can't understand the delicate hearts of teen girls…” Kazunari mused.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kazu...should Tenma’s Dad interview Futaba?” Misumi asked. “She's about that age? We could show her some exclusive pictures of baby Tenma as compensation!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don't barter my baby pictures without my permission!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry, Tenten! It's worth a shot, I'll go call her- it's a Saturday so I don't think she's busy. You guys brainstorm in the meantime?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We could have him crossdress?” Yuki offered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't wanna see my dad crossdress.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Coward,” said Yuki, smoothing out his skirt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Um, Mister Tenma’s Dad? Sir?” Muku asked. “Could we see the script?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure thing, there's a copy for you right there on the coffee table.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks,” Muku said, before beginning to leaf through it. “...There's a good amount of slang here- I'm not sure it was a good idea, because it could very easily date the work...but we could have Kazu-kun drill him on that, understanding it would probably help you out.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm not that old,” Issei sounded slightly offended. “I know slang.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's cap,” said Misumi. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Point proven! It's okay though, if you memorize it all I’ll give you an academic triangle!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mr. Triangle is Professor Triangle now, huh…” Kumon mused. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'll give you one too if you finish all your homework, Kumon!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kumon cheered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kazunari jogged back into the room. “Futaba won't do it, too shy- the TenTen baby pics almost worked, though!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Damn,” said Tenma. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I had a thought, though- I think we should take Tenten’s Papa back to the dorms! We could use some of Mukkun’s manga as reference materials?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's..actually a good idea,” Tenma nodded. “We were just talking about having you teach him some slang too, so it works out.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“To the dorms!” Kumon cried. “But maybe before that we could get lunch!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tenma's Dad! I want onigiri!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I- I guess I could buy you all lunch, you're doing me a favor after all…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em> Don't start bullying my dad!”  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>“Oh, I'm sorry the cups don't match, I've never had this many people over for tea before!” Muku said brightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The tea smells delicious, Muku-kun! What kind is it?” Izumi waved her hand, wafting the steam coming from her cup. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh! It's a rose and apple blend, Homare-<em> san </em>gave it to me, it's from France, he says.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ooh, fancy.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There's a lot of people in here,” Yuki grunted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I couldn't <em> not </em>sit in! It could be a valuable experience!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And the Psycho Stalker?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I go where the director goes...and also I didn't have anything else going on.” Said Masumi. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Incredible,” Yuki deadpanned. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay...so, I've given you the first three volumes of a few classic series, Tenma's Dad!” Muku placed a relatively intimidating stack of volumes down in front of Issei. “And Kazunari donated a notebook so you can take notes of recurring themes and tropes!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You read too, Masumi!” Said Misumi, pushing a volume into his hands. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“‘Kay.” </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>“Alright, now let's run some etudes!” Izumi clapped her hands. They- sans Masumi, who had slinked off to...actually, Izumi didn't know what Masumi did in his free time- had migrated to the practice room after what had been a very educational time in Muku and Kazunari’s room- Izumi couldn't help but wonder if Issei actually planned on looking at the flashcards they had made later, though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright, let's have...Mr. Tenma’s Dad do one with everyone else? I'll pick at random- can everyone in Summer stand in a line in front of me?” As her actors moved to do as they were told, Izumi began to spin around. She had no idea if this was a traditional method, but in her opinion it was the only way to achieve true random selection- the perfect lottery. Once she was sufficiently dizzy, she pointed at a member in the line. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kumon-kun! You're up first...give a minute, though!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You didn't have to make yourself <em> that </em>dizzy!” Tenma scolded as he moved to support her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's...It's a pleasure working with you! Please take care of me!” Kumon bowed sharply. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don't crack, Kumon! You can do it!” Misumi called. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright, I'm good,” Izumi wheezed. “You guys can start.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kumon crossed his arms low on his chest. “Maria-<em> chan! </em>Ask me why I'm mad!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Issei put a hand on his hip. “Why are you mad <em> this </em>time, Hana? It's something new like every day!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Honda-<em> sensei </em>is being such a jerk! It's not fair- he used to always let me turn in homework late, but ever since he got dumped he's been marking my papers down.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Seriously, you've got a point...I can't even check my phone in class anym- how did you know he got dumped!?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I stalk all our teachers online, duh!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kazunari opened his mouth, and closed it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em> Seriously!?” </em>Issei balked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kumon nodded. “It's super interesting! There's even a site where you can look up arrest records for free, and-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Speak! Kazunari, we've <em> talked </em>about this!” Yuki cried. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kazunari swallowed. “It's just...Kumopi, I think you're <em> too </em>good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks! But...huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well it's- it's the rule of satire, right? When you get too close to the thing you're supposed to be parodying, it basically stops being a parody?.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So we...came full circle?” Kumon asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Pretty much.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Gaaah! We're getting nowhere fast!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tenma rubbed the side of his head in thought. “I guess the most effective way really would be to have Dad observe some girls that fit the manga archetype...but if Kazunari’s sister won't do it, we're kind of stuck when it comes to options…Anyone else with sisters?” Tenma looked at Muku and Yuki with muted hope. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Too old,” Yuki shrugged.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mine too, she's already in college.” Muku, for what it was worth, seemed deeply apologetic.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmm…It doesn't have to be specifically a high school girl, right?” Asked Misumi. “If we could just find someone who would act the most like a pure hearted manga heroine…but who do we know like that..?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The group fell into a contemplative silence. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then, Kumon gasped. “I have an idea! I think I know someone- you guys take Mr. Tenma’s Dad to the lounge and pick out a movie, like a romcom! I'll be back in a jiffy!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And with that, Kumon dashed out of the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“At least I believe that Baseball Boy’ll be quick,” Yuki snarked. </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>The group had just finished picking a movie when Kumon came dashing in, A disgruntled Azami trailing behind him. “Tenma’s Dad! This is Azami! Azami, this is Tenma’s Dad!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Um...hey.” Azami greeted lamely. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Afternoon,” Said Issei, moving to shake his hand. “You've got a firm handshake.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks. My dad made me practice when I was a kid, he always said that a strong handshake is the best way to assert physical dominance.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't know how to respond to that.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's okay.” Azami nodded. “What movie are we watching?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Director picked it out, said it was a surprise!” Said Misumi, throwing Izumi under the metaphorical bus with an ease that Izumi didn't know he was capable of. It kind of stung. Azami seemed to take it well, shrugging. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Issei wasn't quite sure what watching a classic romance film with his son and his friends was supposed to accomplish until about the climax of the film- the music playing as the two leads shared their first kiss was cut off with a sudden shriek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Azami had his hands over his face, and his ears were burning red. “<em> Kumon! </em> You said this <em> wasn't </em>going to be a...a…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah?” Said Kumon, intent on egging him on. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em> You said this wasn't going to be a perverted movie, you asshole!”  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry! I'll make it up to you later?” Kumon <em> did </em>feel bad for tricking him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Issei kind of understood, now. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s getting late,” said Izumi as the credits rolled. “Let's have Tenma’s Dad run his lines one more time to see where we're at and then call it.” </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>“Eeh- <em> eeeh!? </em> I'm…” Issei pantomimed closely examining his face in the mirror. “ <em> Old!? </em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That was amazing!” Izumi clapped. “What do you boys think?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Muku nodded his head feverently. “That was spot on, Tenma’s Dad! You got it!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was alright, for you.” Said Tenma. “I expect better in the final cut.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wow...coming from Carrot Top, that's a pretty high compliment.” </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>“Are you <em> sure </em>you can't stay for dinner tonight, Tenma’s Dad?” Izumi asked, seeing him off at the door with the rest of Summer Troupe. “My other actors would love a chance to pick your brain!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I really do need to head back to the filming,” Issei said. “But how about this-- I’ll owe you one next time I'm in town.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That sounds great! Thank you so much-- oh, here, as a parting gift!” Izumi handed him a small rectangular package, wrapped in dark blue paper. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rest of the boys said their goodbyes, before Issei stepped into his car and took off almost immediately. <em> Damn rich people and their drivers </em>, Izumi thought, envious.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Say, Director? What'd you give Tenten’s Papa?” Kazunari asked, still waving. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bromides of Tenma. And a can badge. I thought they'd be good momentos, considering his dad can't come to shows much.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aww, that's super cute!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em> That's embarrassing!” </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank u to my very funnie friends for inspiring me w our convos &lt;3 </p>
<p>i've never written for this many people at a time so it was actually a bit of a challenge!! a fun one tho heehee </p>
<p>i hope you guys found this appropriately silly!! thank you all so much for reading to the end &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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